Things heterosexual men don't text other heterosexual men

so i was having a lovely evening with B.A Tim and the Boop at Ucellos last night.... pause, and i get these texts from Scotty B.... the gayest

Caltavious: i wish u wwre here to dance wirh mwe ... not gay
Benny Lava: Very gay
Caltavious: i love you but not gay brothetr from a anotjer mather

usually when i'm the drunkest... i'm tryin to text or call a female... not my bfff

anything you text me will be used against you cause i'm a hater

- Benny Drama Lava

Lava with the assist

partake:

Caltavious: u still goim tro the game?
Benny Lava: Nah. Its in town and they bitched out. Goin to magdas thing
Caltavious: come to my place first..... which b-dubs is it at?
Benny Lava: 28th i think
Caltavious: you should come here,.. we moved!
Benny Lava: Its still far as fuck
Caltavious: yeah... but i want to fuck hil... and blakes here alone!
Benny Lava: Lol. Tell his ass to leave
Caltavious: hee cant drive!
Benny Lava: Why not?
Caltavious: drunk! he's moving away! :-(
Benny Lava: Losing. Gimme a minute. I'm shitting
Caltavious: yeah im going to take a shower with hil, winning!

act like i wouldn't post this. i'm in the bathroom with my laptop AND texting
bought to wipe my ass and get El Capitan, wonder when him or Scotty will see this

- Benny Lava