Things heterosexual men don't text other heterosexual men

so i was having a lovely evening with B.A Tim and the Boop at Ucellos last night.... pause, and i get these texts from Scotty B.... the gayest

Caltavious: i wish u wwre here to dance wirh mwe ... not gay
Benny Lava: Very gay
Caltavious: i love you but not gay brothetr from a anotjer mather

usually when i'm the drunkest... i'm tryin to text or call a female... not my bfff

anything you text me will be used against you cause i'm a hater

- Benny Drama Lava